Check If Your Shits Are Healthy

***Note***
Someone emailed me this illustration of how to check if your shits/feces are healthy or not which I think is hilarious. Sort of. Credit to the original illustrator whoever you are.

Maybe it is just my sense of humor since this is considered serious stuff, sort of but I do really finds that the illustration is damn funny with the explanation on how to check whether your shits/feces are healthy or not.

Here, the illustration.

Healthy Shits/Feces Checklist

Now, a text version where yours truly will try to comment on the quotes from the illustration. All in the name of HEALTH yo.

"The best feces are like bananas."

(Oh yeah, remember to have a good look at your shit/feces and compare it to a banana. You are in trouble aka deep shit if it looks like a durian.)

"They are modestly hard with no strong smell."

( I am not sure about you but for me, its kinda disturbing trying to smell your own shit/feces and also trying to determine the hardness of your shit/feces. But don't mind me, feel free to go ahead and poke your shit/feces with your fingers and smell em.)

Some questions in the illustration to check whether you have healthy shits/feces or not. I am literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Then again, maybe it is because of my low sense of humor. Don't mind me, carry on soldiers.

Do They Float?

They Float .......... 1 point

They Sink ............ 2 points

(Yep, that's right. Go ahead and make sure whether your shits/feces float or not. Sinking shits are bad indicator mmmkay.)

How Hard Are They?

Like toothpaste .......... 1 point

Hard ........................... 2 points

(By all means, go and test/touch your shits/feces hardness level whether it is like toothpaste or not. Remember to feel the texture while you are at it.)

How Much Do They Weigh?

2 pcs of feces a day, each about 2cm in diameter and about 15cm in length

Over 200g .......... 1point

Below 200g ...........2 points

(Oh, this is even interesting. Remember to bring your ruler to measure your shits/feces and then weigh your shits/feces. Oh the fun. Ain't this exciting?)

How Often Do You Evacuate?

Once a day .......... 1 point

Not Everyday .......2 points

(Evacuate? Evacuate? Mayday Mayday, Shit1 to ShitTower, Emergency Evacuation needed. EJECT!!!!! :p )

Which Color Are Your Feces?

Yellow .......... 1 point

Dark brown .... 2 points

(What? Your shits/feces are green in color? Or red for that matter? Sorry, out of the Shits Department jurisdiction. Please get a second opinion. Mmmmmkay.)

Do Your Feces Smell?

Not much .......... 1 point

Bad Smell .......... 2 points

(Again, by all means, go right ahead and smell your shits/feces fresh from the factory. Jump right in to preserve the freshness and more accurate diagnostic.)

How Are Your Feces Shaped?

Like pebbles .......... 2 points

Like paste ............. 2 points

Like banana ........... 2 points

Like mud ............... 2 points

Liquid .................... 2 points

Hard ...................... 2 points

(Like mentioned earlier, you would want your shits/feces to look like a banana. Yes, go right ahead and examine your shits/feces right now.)

If You Score

7 to 9 points ....You are quite healthy

10 to 12 points ..... Be careful what you eat

13-14 points ..................Warning! Should see a doctor

(There you have it, perform your own shits/feces diagnostic today. Be healthy. Check your shits/feces yourself. DIY yo)

***A sidenote***

Seriously, are there such people who would check their shits/feces everyday like what mentioned? Nothing against them cuz afterall it is in the name of health. Maybe they can consider becoming professional shit analyzer/tester, you know help people test and diagnose their shits/feces.

Lucrative business I would say. Anyone up for it? Come on, don't be shy. You know you wanted to.