Sunday, November 30, 2008

Check If Your Shits Are Healthy

***Note***
Someone emailed me this illustration of how to check if your shits/feces are healthy or not which I think is hilarious. Sort of. Credit to the original illustrator whoever you are.



Maybe it is just my sense of humor since this is considered serious stuff, sort of but I do really finds that the illustration is damn funny with the explanation on how to check whether your shits/feces are healthy or not.

Here, the illustration.

Healthy Shits/Feces Checklist


Now, a text version where yours truly will try to comment on the quotes from the illustration. All in the name of HEALTH yo.

"The best feces are like bananas."
(Oh yeah, remember to have a good look at your shit/feces and compare it to a banana. You are in trouble aka deep shit if it looks like a durian.)

"They are modestly hard with no strong smell."
( I am not sure about you but for me, its kinda disturbing trying to smell your own shit/feces and also trying to determine the hardness of your shit/feces. But don't mind me, feel free to go ahead and poke your shit/feces with your fingers and smell em.)


Some questions in the illustration to check whether you have healthy shits/feces or not. I am literally rolling on the floor laughing.

Then again, maybe it is because of my low sense of humor. Don't mind me, carry on soldiers.

Do They Float?
They Float .......... 1 point
They Sink ............ 2 points
(Yep, that's right. Go ahead and make sure whether your shits/feces float or not. Sinking shits are bad indicator mmmkay.)

How Hard Are They?
Like toothpaste .......... 1 point
Hard ........................... 2 points
(By all means, go and test/touch your shits/feces hardness level whether it is like toothpaste or not. Remember to feel the texture while you are at it.)

How Much Do They Weigh?
2 pcs of feces a day, each about 2cm in diameter and about 15cm in length
Over 200g .......... 1point
Below 200g ...........2 points
(Oh, this is even interesting. Remember to bring your ruler to measure your shits/feces and then weigh your shits/feces. Oh the fun. Ain't this exciting?)

How Often Do You Evacuate?
Once a day .......... 1 point
Not Everyday .......2 points
(Evacuate? Evacuate? Mayday Mayday, Shit1 to ShitTower, Emergency Evacuation needed. EJECT!!!!! :p )

Which Color Are Your Feces?
Yellow .......... 1 point
Dark brown .... 2 points
(What? Your shits/feces are green in color? Or red for that matter? Sorry, out of the Shits Department jurisdiction. Please get a second opinion. Mmmmmkay.)

Do Your Feces Smell?
Not much .......... 1 point
Bad Smell .......... 2 points
(Again, by all means, go right ahead and smell your shits/feces fresh from the factory. Jump right in to preserve the freshness and more accurate diagnostic.)

How Are Your Feces Shaped?
Like pebbles .......... 2 points
Like paste ............. 2 points
Like banana ........... 2 points
Like mud ............... 2 points
Liquid .................... 2 points
Hard ...................... 2 points
(Like mentioned earlier, you would want your shits/feces to look like a banana. Yes, go right ahead and examine your shits/feces right now.)

If You Score
7 to 9 points ....You are quite healthy
10 to 12 points ..... Be careful what you eat
13-14 points ..................Warning! Should see a doctor
(There you have it, perform your own shits/feces diagnostic today. Be healthy. Check your shits/feces yourself. DIY yo)




***A sidenote***
Seriously, are there such people who would check their shits/feces everyday like what mentioned? Nothing against them cuz afterall it is in the name of health. Maybe they can consider becoming professional shit analyzer/tester, you know help people test and diagnose their shits/feces.

Lucrative business I would say. Anyone up for it? Come on, don't be shy. You know you wanted to.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Get Free Domain Name

Yep, you heard it right.

You can get your very own free domain name but only limited to CO.CC. For example, you can get benardcometh.co.cc or benardcomethisthegreatest.co.cc if you want. The first one I have registered already so you can't have it but the second one is still open for grabs. Come on now, you know you wanted it.

Now, try to go to http://www.benardcometh.co.cc and see what u get? BenardCometh Revelations of course with no charges applied. How neat is that? Totally free of charge.

You can basically get yourname.co.cc for FREE. How cool is that? Now, how do you register the free domain name of your own?

First of all, go to CO.CC and you will arrive at the main page with the search bar where you can enter your preferred domain name and check the availability of the domain name.

Enter your desired domain name and check for the availability. In this case, I am going to use benardcometh. Obviously.

Type in desired domain name

Confirmation of Domain Name availability


Once confirmed that your desired domain name is available, proceed with the registration. If you are a returning user, you will need to log in and if not you will need to sign up for an account to manage your domain at CO.CC.

Registering for an account

Registering


After registering, you are basically done with the process. You will need to set up your domain name or configure it in 48 hours or it will be deleted.

So, remember to set up your domain name for use.

Completed the registering process.


Now, lets see how to set up the FREE domain name you have just registered. Click on the set up button and you will see 3 option in the new page of which can be accessed using the manage domain option.

Set Up Options


I choose the URL fowarding option as I want to retain my benardcometh.blogspot.com URL hence I want benardcometh.co.cc be fowarded to benardcometh.blogspot.com.

Path Fowarding

Set Up completed


There you have it. How to get your own free domain name. It's fast and simple. What are you waiting for?

Get your FREE domain name NOW.


CO.CC:Free Domain

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Renewing Your Malaysian Passport

Yours Truly went to renew his Malaysian Passport recently and because of some bad timing, it took a whole 3 days to process the passport when normally it will only take 2 days.

Generally, you will need two passport photo of yourself, a photostated copy of your identification card (both sides), application form, and RM300 (32 pages). Malaysian Passport is valid for 5 years however, the passport can only be used up to the last 6 months of the expiry date.

Meaning that, your passport need to have at least 6 more months before expiry in order to be able to travel overseas.

So, in Kuching you will have to go to the Immigration department at the federal building at Simpang Tiga. It is located on the first floor.

Go to the first counter/counter 1 and purchase your application form there at RM1 perpiece and get your queue number. After that wait for your turn to be called to submit the completed form together with two passport photo, photostated copy of your identification card and your original identification card.

You will be asked to leave your thumbprint on the application form and also eletronic version by using the electronic thumbprint gadget. After that, your identification card will be returned to you and also the number to wait for your turn to pay for the new passport.

When you heard your name being called, proceed to the counter to confirm and then proceed to the payment counter to pay RM300 (32 pages passport). You will be issued a receipt and asked to come back tomorrow to collect your brand new passport.

Hence, it will only take you 2 days to process the passport application. Day 1 for the submission of the application and payment and Day 2 for the passport collection.

Yours Truly took 3 days because, Day 1 arrive at the Immigration Department at around 2.30pm and after completed the application form and waiting for my turn, it is already 4.40pm and the payment counter closed at 4.30pm.

Thus, yours truly have to go to the Immigration department the next day, Day2 to pay for the passport then have to wait till Day3 to collect the passport. Just because of bad timing.

The moral of the story?

Remember to go early to the immigration department and if you have everything ready, it will only took you 2 days to get your passport from the application to the collection. The Immigration Department is open at 7.30am till 5.30pm but the most important is that the payment counter is closed at 4.30pm.

There you have it.

Renewing Your Malaysian Passport.

Remember to prepare the necessary things listed in the following list:


2 pcs Passport Photo
Photostated copy of your I.C.
Original I.C.
RM300 (For 32 pages passport)

Monday, November 24, 2008

Careful who you sleeps with

This is damn hilarious ok.

Source from email sent to me but I don't know who is the original author hence the credit goes to the original author whoever you are.

Hilarious1
 Hilarious2
Hilarious3
Hilarious4
Hilarious5
So, better be careful who you sleeps around with. 
Regardless of preferences, always remember your "safety helmet". Safety first ya.

=p

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Wonder Why Obama Won?

Still wondering why on earth Obama won?





Ever heard of Obama Girl?


Obama Girl 
(Amber Lee Ettinger)
 
 Obama Girl 
(Amber Lee Ettinger)
 Obama Girl 
(Amber Lee Ettinger)
 Obama Girl 
(Amber Lee Ettinger)
 Obama Girl 
(Amber Lee Ettinger)
 Obama Girl 
(Amber Lee Ettinger)
 Obama Girl 
(Amber Lee Ettinger)

Pictures Source: www.obamagirl.com


And yet you wonder 
WHY
Obama Won?

Heck, if there's a Cometh Girl I would go all out for Malaysian Election

Honestly

Go Cometh Go

Friday, November 21, 2008

Register as a Voter

Those who are eligible for voting, have you register as a voter? Voting is your right and you should be voting in the spirit of democracy.

I must admit that I have not register as a voter myself even though I am eligible to do so for the past 4 years. Most of the people from my generation would not be bothered to go and register as a voter. What is the point? Says them.

There is no excuses to not to register as a voter I agree, however there are circumstances that would prevent one from registering as a voter to exercise his or her voting rights.

Again, there are NO excuses for NOT voting as a voter in the spirit of democracy. By voting, you are selecting YOUR representative to represent you in what you think would be the best.

Briefly said, you are the one who chooses your government who will govern the country. The condition and future of a country depends on the type and quality of the government that govern it. Agree?

Hence, voting is very important in order to select the government that the people wants and the voting of which candidate or party should not be interfered or determined by others but you yourself must vote for those that you believe will govern with dedication and determination to propel the country to greatness NOT to degrade the country and eventually lead to its demise.

That is why, ALL of those who are eligible to vote and have not vote for whatever reason you have, GO and register as a voter to qualify to vote and be able to select the type of representative that you want.

Let no other people influence you in making choices that would contradict what you believe in. Whether it is to vote for the government or for the opposition. That is your choice and no one can change that and that is DEMOCRACY.

I know for certain that people my generation would not care less whether they have registered or not. Some would say it is hard to register, they have no time, there is no point and etc. IF they choose not to vote or register as a voter, that IS their right also. DEMOCRACY is all about the voices of majority and preserving the rights that you have.

However, I do believe that those who have NOT voted are being selfish and do not care of the well being of the country.

The country deserve better. Your homeland deserve better. You deserve better. Better treatment for the democracy process that is. That is the least you can do to preserve the democracy in the country by exercising you rights. You owe the country that.

Regardless what type of representative or government you choose, at the end of the day what matters is that you have voted and given your choice of representation for the country. Nobody can say that you have voted wrongly and that you have wasted your vote. No one. The fact will still be that, you have exercised your right in the name of democracy and that you have selected your representative.

That being said, for the past 4 years I have been SELFISH and have not register as a voter and am not involved in the democracy process. Actually I have been wanting to register as a voter but never have the time nor motivation to go and register.

Then again, that is NOT an excuse for not registering as a voter and since someone mentioned that registering as a voter is easy, I am going to register as a voter this coming Monday when I am going to renew my passport.

That is the least I can do for my country. My homeland. I owe that to the country. Be involved in the democratic process when you are eligible to do so and don't make up excuses to not register as a voter and vote for your representative.

Hell, just look at the United States. They are going to have a black President soon and this have created a big hooohaaaa. Why is it that a black president is so special? That indicates that democracy at its best?

Perhaps so, but from another perspective why is it that a black president creates so much hype? A truly democratic process masquerading as a racist mentality underneath?

Why is it that, the soon to be first black President be mentioned as another American who is elected in the fair process of democracy to form the government and govern the country? Why the emphasize on black? Why not just American Barrack Obama set to become America's next President?

Whether you would come to accept the fact or deny the fact that there are racists mentality when the mention of a black President creates so much hype and hoo haaa, the process IS truly democratic since the people have spoken. Of the people, By the People, For the People. That is democracy.

Thus, people especially those who have not registered as a voter, you know that you need to exercise your rights. You owe that much to the country. So, please go and register as a voter and cast your vote to select your representative.

Lastly,



Government 
Of the People, 
By the People, 
For the People



Go register as a voter now and remember to vote.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Mobile Blogging

Got my hand on an Iphone 3G to play with and so far I am liking it. In case you doesn't get the hint yet, this post is written/blogged by using an Iphone 3G.

Now I know what I want for Christmas. I have been a pretty good boy and behaves well this year. Ahem***. Santa Claus surely will climb down the chimney and give me an Iphone. Wait, my house don't have a chimney. Darn, for a moment there I thought that I might just get the present from Santa.

What? Santa doesn't exists? Oh the betrayal, the lies, the agony, and the pain. All these years I have been cheated. Oh cruel world, where is the love? the hope? the waiting?

There you have it. A rant testing of mobile blogging using Iphone 3G. So far, I am loving it. The touch screen qwerty keyboard perform beyond my expectations. Way cool.

Not bad for a phone. Almost like a real small pc. Definitely an excellent choice for those who are on the move often.

Am actually waiting for the firmware and winpawn to finish downloading. The firmware alone is a freaking 246mb in size and Streamyx is trying it's best to muster whatever speed left to facilitate the download.

Why I am waiting for the downloads to complete? For jailbreaking purpose of course. Not the real jail break like prison break but to sort of hack the Iphone so that I can install applications and do other stuff that otherwise would be a pain in the arse.

Main purpose is to turn this Iphone into somesort of mobile router so that I can connect my laptop to the Internet via Iphone. As much as I like the iPhone qwerty keyboard, I still prefer bigger and more ergonomic keyboard because a prolonged period on the small digital keyboard would most definitely cause RSI related injuries.

I think that should be all.

In case you want to know, I have been typing using my two thumbs.

All Hail The Thumb Master...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

LOHAS

I think most of you are wondering what the fuck on earth is LOHAS. Or maybe it is just me who come to know the term just recently when all the world already know what LOHAS is.

Now, what would a sane person do nowadays when they encounter alien terms or alien topics that are incomprehensible? Simple, as what a normal sane person would do. Google of course.

Then again, there is Wikipedia. Here the entry about LOHAS in wikipedia.

Briefly, LOHAS stands for Lifestyles of Health and Sustainability and it is concerned with sustainable living, healthy and go green stuffs. Oh, not forgetting the potential lucrative business estimated at billions and at the same time seems to provide for the planet's health. Earth is ill mmmmkay.

Basically the products and services under LOHAS movements are:


Organic and locally grown food
Organic and natural personal care products
Hybrid and electric cars
Green and sustainable building
Energy efficient electronics/applicances
Socially responsible investing
Natural household products (paper goods and cleaning products)
Complementary, alternative and preventive medicine (Naturopathic, Chinese medicine, etc.)
Fair trade products

There you have it. LOHAS. Start your LOHAS this and LOHAS that now. What are you waiting for? LOHAS the planet right this instant you ungrateful non-LOHAS-ers.

Ahem, excuse the suddenly burst of creative sentence. Anyway, you might have notice one thing. Notice the organic this and organic that? And also not forgetting green this and green that?
All the so called sustainable living and healthy living is simply for the rich. Agree? No?

Lets see some examples. Compare a chicken sold at your local wet market and a so called organic chicken sold at your friendly supermarket. Notice how similar the chicken are but bear in mind that the chickens are not the same. One is "ORGANIC" and we all know that anything labelled organic is fresh, clean, healthy, bla bla bla and not to mention more expensive.

Oh yeah, LOHAS Chicken dont play play. Power enough I tell you. Oh, ya and this so called organic chicken is much more expensive than the ones you buy at the local wet market. Correct?
Another example mmmmkay, dont everyone just loves examples. There is this banana farm that have been producing bananas all this while, and distribute to most of the shops/supermarket that are sold at lets say $1 perbanana. Examples my dear watson, examples.

Then come a company and buys the same bananas supplies from the banana farm and then put stickers on the bananas labelled Organic.

Tadaaa!!!!, instant Organic bananas. The best part? The "organic" bananas are sold at $5 perbanana. Damn lucrative business I tell you. All the stupid rich people rushing to get healthy and all.

Get my point? Alright, no doubt that there are authentic organic food out there. Plenty of em but more than often all the healthy and green and bla bla bla comes with a premium price that well, only suitable for the rich. Correct?

Why not all food in the world are organic this and that? Where everyone can enjoy organic food and then they may live longer? Oh yeah, I forget that humans are greedy bastards. My mistake.

With the economic crisis that the whole world are facing now, what's next? LOHAS economy?

Amen.

May LOHAS be with you.


p/s: This is just a rant post and this is my initial opinions from what I understand about LOHAS. Please refute me if I am wrong.

Monday, November 17, 2008

November Malaysia Latest Fuel Price

Effective 18th November 2008, the petrol and diesel will be 15 sen cheaper. It's about time they lower the fuel price already. 

The pump price of RON97 petrol will be RM2 a litre while RON92 and diesel is Rm1.90 a litre.

Now, there is one more question. When will the price of other things decrease? When the fuel price increase, all are so eager to increase price and now when there are like 5 revisions of the fuel price already, where is the price decrease in other things. Mana?

I would say we would need to wait long long for that to happen. Increase in price of course no problem but when it comes to decrease the price. Can just wait long long ah.

There you have it, 

Yet another 15sen reduction in fuel price. Now give some hurrahs for the government.

Hurrah Hurrah Hurrah...................................... - _-"

Better than nothing loh.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

One Million Star Li Chu Ning commits suicide

I have to admit I am an avid follower of One Million Star (超級星光大道) program and am really shocked when the news of Li Chu Ning commits suicide comes out.

Li Chu Ning
(Taken from Google Image)


Li Chu Ning is the second runner up of One Million Star Season 3. (超級星光大道 3). One Million Star (超級星光大道) is a popular TV singing/talent competition in Taiwan hosted by Momoko Tao (陶晶瑩).

Hmmm, it seems that more and more people are committing suicide nowadays. A very disturbing trend indeed. But, in Li Chu Ning's case, is it really a suicide? It is hard to believe that she will resort to suicide.

From the news, apparently she committed suicide because of emotional issues. Something to do with her love life perhaps. She committed suicide by burning charcoal in her car and seal herself in it. Too much carbon monoxide is deadly and thus its bye bye Li Chu Ning.

Life is fragile indeed.

Live life to the fullest.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Sex with 1000 men because of sex addiction

***Note***
This is totally plagiarized from the online news portal. Wait, I am giving credits where it is due so me thinks me not copy cat.. Meow~~~. No Kittens will die from this.

Urmmmm, Okayyyyyy

Terri, who struggles to maintain a relationship because of her addiction, became a slave to love at the age of 17, when she lost her virginity.
She recalled: “It was like someone had flipped a switch. From then I just developed an insatiable desire for sex. I’ve done it with hundreds and hundreds of men. I don’t keep a tally because I’m not a slut — I am just satisfying a need.
“Most people who know me think I’m really sweet and charming. I don’t smoke, I hardly drink, I’ve never taken drugs, yet I’ve slept with nearly one thousand men.”
And if there’s no man around, Terri slips off to satisfy herself, even if she’s at work. She added: “Other people have fag breaks, so I don’t feel too guilty. On a bad day, I can have up to a dozen comfort breaks.”


Hmmm, the poor thing. Having such medical conditions must be very very very "tiring". Must eat some energy boosting stuff.

“I really do feel the urge to have sex pretty much all the time. Obviously I can’t have sex all the time so when I’m sat at my desk and I feel aroused beyond normal limits I have to slip off and satisfy myself.
"It's not a good feeling. I'm constantly frustrated by it."
To cope with her addiction Terri joined internet sex websites where she chose random men to meet with.
She said: "This became a bit of a lottery really because most men on these websites hide their face and just show you their body parts.
“We arrange to meet on neutral territory such as in a hotel. If they were ugly I closed my eyes and pretended they were someone else.”
Terri added: “When I am met men off the internet I didn't leave until I was fully satisfied and my sexual urges had gone away. I wasn't there to please them. It sounds selfish but that's the way it is.”
“I've been told my addiction will probably only go when I have the menopause, which means another 20 to 30 years of sex."


20 to 30 years more of such medical conditions? Hmmmm, with that rate of men, she would better off go to China. 1.3 billion people yo.

Now fess up. What would you do if you encountered person "suffering" from such medical condition. It is only right to "help" right?

To help or not to help, that is the question. =p

For those who are curious how she looks like. Here, a picture I shamelessly ripped off from the news portal.

Terri


That is all.

Now, you have to excuse me. I need to Google and try my luck go and do some urgent things.
Remember to always play safe.



Dont Drink and Drive
and
Always remember to use safety measures such as wearing "safety helmets".

Monday, November 10, 2008

Press Any Key To Continue

"May I know where the any key is located?"


Seriously, is that a trick question? It's not some April Fool joke right? Wait, April Fool is over. Alright, lets see. Press Any Key To Continue means you press any key to continue. Seriously, it is really not a trick question?

Alright, giving you the benefit of a doubt. When you encountered "Press Any Key To Continue" situation, please just press the "ENTER" key. Alright? That way you are sure to proceed with whatever you are doing.

"ENTER" Key


And please don't ask me why the "ENTER" key is "ANY" key. I will really die I tell you. From the excessive laughter overdose.

Just to play safe, or in case you can't find the "ENTER" key as your "ANY" key. Use the following "ANY" key thank you very much.

The usual "ANY" key


Hope that helps.

BenardCometh Revelations always aim to solve your problems as efficient and as effective as possible regardless how serious or funny problems you have.

P/S: Ignore the dirty keyboard. That is years of hardwork accumulating dust. It's not simple I tell you.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Kittens Abandoned

Outside my house that is.

It is a conspiracy or something to turn my house into a mini zoo. Two small kittens abandoned mercilessly and left to fend for themselves under the scorching sun. Where is the love?

Thus the pretend-to-be-kind yours truly take them in and put em in a box and give some milk only to realize that yours truly is not exactly what you would call a cat person. He is more to a dog person as dogs likes him more than cats which have been proven over and over again.

Kitten in a box


I am planning to give away the kittens because as much as I want to rear em, I can't for several reasons. Firstly, like I said earlier, cats hates me and there are few cases where yours truly are "viciously" attacked/clawed by cats for wanting to feed em. Where is the justice?

Secondly, I already have three dogs at my house and we all know that pooch and mutt do not mix well together, period. There are risk that the kitten becomes dog-snack later. Accident happens.

Thirdly, I know nuts about cats which is evident from the fact that cats hate me. There are possibilities that the kitten would die under my care so for the sake of the kittens, I better leave em to the professionals.**Ahem** Levian?

Fourthly, I don't really intend to turn my house into a mini-zoo regardless how cute they are. Cuteness have been identified as the weakness to many people. It is very very lethal.

Awwwwww


There you have it, reasons why I can't take in and take care of the abandoned kittens although the kittens can be useful at times. Such as making LOLCats out of em.

Let Me Go!!!!

I Iz Ninja

Roar!!! I Iz Tiger

Shhhh, I Iz Hunting

Beware, I iz Dangerous

I iz Serious


Cute and exploitable, what else you would need in a kitten right?

Now, any takers?

***Note***
The kittehs been adopted already. You had your chances but you did not act upon it. =p

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Obama











!!!!!!!!~~~
OBAMA~~~!!!!!!!!!









Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Changing Flat Tire DIY

Greetings,

This is the resident mechanic wannabe of BenardCometh Revelations. I am going to show how you can change flat tire by yourself. DIY yo.

The first step is to identify a flat tire. Please make sure that the tire is flat before you perform the tire changing. Kids, don't try this at home unless you have flat tire of course.

Flat Tire


Open your car boot and normally there will be a set of car jack that comes with the car. If you don't have the set, make sure you go and get one set now. You will never know when you will have flat tire situation. Make sure that there is a spare tire in the car boot also.

The tool- L Iron

Car Jack



Make sure you are parked at a flat surface/place. Before you jack up the car, make sure you open the tire screw bolts first. Normally, the bolt would be fastened hard and you will need to use a bit force to open it. Another way to open it is to use your legs.

Put the L shaped iron in place and step on the iron to force the bolt to open. Please make sure that you are going anti clockwise to open the screw bolts.

The Screw Bolts

Anti Clock Wise
(Pay no attention to the hairy legs)

4 screw bolts


Don't take out the flat tire yet, use the car jack and jack up your car to the appropriate height. Normally, high enough to fit the spare tire in. Pull the flat tire out and take the spare tire out to put in the flat tire's place.

Spare Tire

Taken Out

Put in Place


After you put the spare tire in place, use the L shaped iron to put back the screw bolts and tighten a bit. After that lower the car jack and then try the foot method again. Step on the L shaped iron to make sure the screw bolts are really fasten tight. You don't want your tire to suddenly got loose when you are driving now, do you?

Use your foot to step on the L shaped iron clockwise to tighten it. When you are done with all the screw bolts, congratulations for successfully changing your flat car tire.

Fasten Tight
(Again, pay no attention to the hairy leg)


Success


Remember to send your flat tire to be mended or even get a new tire if your flat tire is too old already. Tire changing is a messy affair and you need to get your hands dirty to do so.

So, if you don't want to get your hands dirty. Leave it to the pro at a price of course. Alright?

The Aftermath


There you have it, now you know how to change a flat tire. Remember not to try on perfectly "healthy" tires just for the sake of trying after reading this.

Now, excuse me while I go wash my hands.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Emperor Chicken

A title like that must have got you confused that this post is about the king of all chickens with the name Emperor Chicken. There is no such thing.

Emperor Chicken is actually the name of a dish that uses chicken as the main ingredient mixed together with few herbs and spices.

Today's post will be on how to easily make your own Emperor Chicken in just a few steps. It's simple and delicious.

Lets have a look at the ingredients, shall we?


Emperor Chicken Ingredients

Emperor Chicken Instant Spices
A whole chicken
Water


First of all, go and buy your favorite brand of Emperor Chicken spices. There are a few of brands available. I am using the Uncle Sun Emperor Chicken Spices. Traditionally you can also get the herbs and spices and make it yourself but for the sake of speed and ease, lets just make do with the instant spices alright?

Emperor Chicken Spices


Get a whole chicken from your friendly neighborhood market or supermarket or hypermarket and clean it inside out. Chop off the head and neck and you are almost prepared for the next step.
The chicken

The chicken cleaned and ready to be spiced


Together with the packet of Emperor Chicken spices are a piece of plastic wrapper, a piece of aluminum wrapper and the spice powder. Spread the spice powder all over the chicken and make sure it marinate well with the spices.

You can leave the marinated chicken at the side and prepare your stuffing. Yes, you can stuff things inside your chicken. Any stuffings to your liking is good enough. For my case, I stuff some chinese mushroom, some garlic, and the chicken insides such as the liver, gizzard and etc.

When you are satisfied with your stuffing and also that the chicken is "bathed" well with the spice powder evenly inside and outside, pour some water inside. From the instruction, it requires around 100gm water inside the chicken body but I pour in more than that as I like my chicken with more juice.

After pouring the water inside, make sure the water stays inside and proceed to wrap the chicken with the plastic wrapper first followed by the aluminum wrapper. Place it on a tray and put it in an oven. If you don't have an oven then I think by steaming it would be alright also.


Wrapped


You can steam it in medium fire for one and a half hour or if you prefer oven then put it in oven temprature of 240C for 1 hour. That is the estimated time and the time depends very much on the size of your chicken.

The bigger takes longer. However, it is not recommended to get a big chicken as the taste would not be that good. Get a small chicken and you will have a better tasting Emperor Chicken.

If you really have to get a big fat chicken then you will need two packet of the Emperor Chicken Spices to make it more tasty.

Cooked


When it is done, take it out and proceed to open the wrapper slowly, and slice the chicken to half at the stomach area. You will see the stuffing and also can confirm whether your Emperor Chicken is cooked or not.

If it is not cooked well yet, put it in and cook for a while again. Remember not to eat things raw except for maybe sushi. That is different. Mmmmkay.

Open it up

Emperor Chicken

Slice into half


When it is cooked, it is ready to be served. Congratulation. You have successfully make your own Emperor Chicken. You can feel proud now. Pat yourself at the back. Go on, don't be shy. Nobody is watching.

Served

Delicious



That is it for this post.


Enjoy your Emperor Chicken.


Happy Emperor-ing.