Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Pork Floss Spring Roll

Greetings,

This is the resident chef of BenardCometh Revelations making another round of appearance again after a long absence.

This post supposed to be created before the Chinese New Year so that the Pork Floss Spring Roll can be served to those visiting your house during Chinese New Year. DIY yo.

Anyway, the Pork Floss Spring Roll makes perfect snack to be eaten any time of the day. Now, I am going to show all of you how to make the Pork Floss Spring Roll yourselves.

The ingredients needed are:

Spring Roll Pastry

Egg White

Pork Floss


First of all, separate the egg yolk and the egg white as you are going to use the egg white only. There are a few ways to do this, I will leave that to your own creative imagination.

Take out the spring roll pastry and separate em sheet by sheet.

The Spring Roll Pastry

Spring Roll Pastry Sheets


The Spring Roll Pastry sheets are highly customizable depending on your preferences. In this case I cut it into square sheet pieces.

Proceed to put some pork floss onto a piece of square sheet.

Pork Floss on top


Then position the pork floss at the lower left or right depending on your preferred angle to roll up later. After that, proceed to roll up the corner tip at the lower right to cover the pork floss.

Roll Roll

Continue to roll until its halfway then fold in the two sides and continue rolling until you are left with some corner space.

Halfway and fold the sides

Corner space


Apply some of the egg white to the corner space then roll all the way up. The egg white acts as glue/adhesive of some sort. Edible of course. After that you are done. As easy as that.

Apply egg white

Roll all the way up


Arrange the Pork Floss Spring Roll in the oven container and put inside the oven until the color changes to light brownish/gold then they are ready to be served. You can opt to fry the spring rolls also if you prefer that way.

Before Oven

After Oven


There you have it. How to make Pork Floss Spring Rolls by yourselves. Simple and nice.

One reason why you would want to make your own is that you can easily customize your own spring rolls. In term of size and ingredients. For the adventurous, you might want to try different ingredients.

For example, yours truly likes his spring roll SUPER-SIZED compared to the normal size.

Super-Sized

Yum Yum


That is all. I have to go and eat the spring rolls now. Ahem.

Happy Trying and Eating.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Happy Chinese New Year 2009

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 
2009
 

Wishing all of you the best of health and wealth

Money Come Money Come

Fatt ar!!!!

Huat ar!!!

Friday, January 23, 2009

Funny Stuff

Just read the following stuff that is way funny. Damn funny mmmmmkay.

Directly quoted:

The Umno ‘Wow Factor’

A farmer named Lakbir Singh was overseeing his herd in a remote pasture in Bolehland when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him.

The driver, a young Malay man in an Armani suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leans out the window and asks the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"

Lakbir looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3 cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within mere seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and the data is stored. He then accesses a MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response. Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer and finally turns to the farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Lakbir.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on amused as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car. Then Lakbir says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"

"You're a graduate from Oxford and a Member of Parliament for Umno," says Lakbir.

"Wow! That's correct," exclaims the yuppie with the customary Umno's Wow Factor, "But how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required," answered Lakbir. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, and to a question I never asked. You tried to show me how much smarter you are, and you don't know a thing about cows. This is a herd of sheep. Now give me back my dog."
Whoever the original author is, you are damn creative lah. Rock on. Ahem.

Every once in a while having a good laugh is vital. Afterall, laughter is the best medicine.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Pizza Hut Sucks

Yours Truly should have learned a lesson by now judging from the previous post titled Avoid Pizza Hut Seafood Lasagna.

But Nooo~~~, Yours Truly still want to drag his itchy ass to Pizza Hut again after being seduced/tempted by the new pizza illustration. Darn, yours truly should have known better. Franchise mah, sure when one branch suck, all will follow the suck-ness. Franchise mah.

The new pizza from Pizza Hut is the Golden Fortune Cheesy Crown with the so called toppings of prawns, tuna, crabsticks, and pineapples and surrounded by golden rings stuffed with cheese.

Golden Fortune Cheesy Crown


Looks delicious and very tempting right? But in reality, oh I feel cheated. Kena cheated. If differ a bit still understandable but this much difference is really too insulting. Oh the deception.

*Real* Golden Fortune Cheesy Crown


What? The Pizza Hut people secretly hoping that all the customers are stupid is it? Or maybe blind? If blind then perhaps something like that would go unnoticed. Damn insulting.

But then again, I can't really blame Pizza Hut since I ALREADY have bad experiences with Pizza Hut before and yet again willingly kena cheated one time after another.

Enough is enough. This is the last straw. Yours Truly is determined not to eat Pizza Hut again. There are other better establishments for pizza around anyway. So, Pizza Hut can just kiss my fragrance ass goodbye.

In conclusion

PIZZA HUT
SUCKS

That's all.

Sekian Terima Kasih.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Buy Malaysian Goods

Yeah right. Buy Malaysian Good lor.

If the biggest spender in Malaysia aka the Gah Var Men not going to lead by example, who else would be convinced to follow?

It's like when you are obese and you give advice to people on how to keep fit by eating vegetables while you are going to KFC. Does that makes any sense? Somewhere along that line I am sure you agree with what I am trying to say here. Ahem.

Yours truly better not rant to much. Very dangerous. I still love my fat ass very much to let it rot somewhere.

Anyway, the idea of buying Malaysian Good is good since it will help the local businesses which will in turn help the economy. Help sustain it a bit.

So, who to target? Aside from the biggest spender in the country, ahem, there is also one category of spender who will make significant contribution to the Buy Malaysian Goods campaign.

Housewives. Yep, your mother. Or maybe probably there will be househusbands also. But the point here is that in most families, the housewife aka mother aka mum will be the one who decides what to buy and where to spend. After all, they are the domestic executives. Oopsss, make that domestic managers.

So, if all domestic managers unite and support the Buy Malaysian Goods campaign, I am sure that that will make a significant impact to the economy. Ahem.

So, all Domestic Managers aka Housewives. UNITE!!!!!!

They have the attraction and influential power mmmmmmkayyy.

Especially if they look like the following picture. Ahem.


Influential Housewife


So, support Buy Malaysian Goods. Ahem.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Nun sexually abuse male students

This might be an old news but I am pretty sure some of you out there don't know of this news yet.

Directly quoted:

A 79-year-old Roman Catholic nun pleaded no contest Monday to indecent behavior with a child for alleged sexual encounters with two male students at a church convent and school where she was principal during the 1960s.


Kobs said the nun told him in 1965, when he was 13, to open the buttons of her habit, but he was shaking so badly he could not do so. He said she then unbuttoned her clothing and had him touch her breasts, the complaint said.


The first incident was followed by 60 to 80 others, including two involving sexual intercourse, it said.


St. Patrick said he had sexual contact with the nun more than 100 times, beginning when he was in seventh grade. At least one incident involved sexual intercourse, the complaint said.


Oh well,

If the nun looks like the following picture, I am sure no one would complain. At least the guys wont. Ahem

Sexy Nun

There you have it.

Excuse me. I need to go search some churches now.

Ahem.
p/s: Please Jesus, if you are reading this post. The last few sentences are meant to be taken light heartedly, Just for humor alright. Amen.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Say Don't Want

Say Don't Want

Kata Tak Nak


Quit Smoking: 1800-438-2000

SMOKING IS BAD
mmmmkayyyyyy







This public service awareness is brought to you by BenardCometh Revelation. 
Remember, Don't Drink and Drive
and
IF you MUST smoke, buy the type that don't have such ugly ass illustration.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

The Perfect Job

This have got to be the PERFECT JOB one could ever dream of. If not the BEST JOB in the world.

I reckon there will be a lot of people applying for the job since if you don't know yet that the recession is upon us. Heck, even if there if no recession, this job IS the DREAM JOB.

Get this, if you are selected for the job, you will be paid a high salary of 150K Australian Dollars including free airfares from your home country to the work place. You only need to laze around a beautiful tropical island for six months. Oh, the agony of needing to stroll the white sands beach, snorkel around the reef, blogs and make some video updates.

Damn, that IS the job description for BLOGGERS what. I am foreseeing a lot of bloggers applying for the job.

Quoted directly from the news:

An Australian state is offering internationally what it calls "the best job in the world" -- earning a top salary for lazing around a beautiful tropical island for six months.


The job pays 150,000 Australian dollars (105,000 US dollars) and includes free airfares from the winner's home country to Hamilton Island on the Great Barrier Reef, Queensland's state government announced on Tuesday.


In return, the "island caretaker" will be expected to stroll the white sands, snorkel the reef, take care of "a few minor tasks" -- and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.


The successful applicant, who will stay rent-free in a three-bedroom beach home complete with plunge pool and golf buggy, must be a good swimmer, excellent communicator and be able to speak and write English.


"This is a legitimate job which is open to anyone and everyone."


Applications are open until February 22. Eleven shortlisted candidates will be flown to Hamilton Island in early May for the final selection process and the six month contract will commence on July 1.

To apply, you have to go to the The Best Job In The World website. You might have difficulties in accessing it though since there will be A LOT of people applying for the job. I am sure of it.

So, what are you waiting for? People pay you to go on vacation leh with some updates on your experience. Eh, exactly the job description for a blogger.

That is all.

You will have to excuse me.

I need to update my resume and submit my application go and feed my dog. Ahem.

Monday, January 12, 2009

CNY Cleaning

Oh yeah,

Yours Truly am now cleaning the house for the Chinese New Year....

Woot, Handyman Cometh....or maybe Cleaner Cometh. Sort of.

Here I come... or Go. Depends on your perspective.

Hence, quite busy.

Ahem.

Cleaning

Friday, January 9, 2009

Gay Self Defense Move

Not sure about you but I find the self defense move in the following video seems very gay. Especially at 0:54.





Gay Self Defense Move

I LOLed so hard, it certainly made my day. Even the comments are funny.

For example:
izurz 
how bout if he has a hard boner when your doing that push move and then you get butt rapped :/


TheEmowithsunglasses
AND YEAH BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AT :54


asianelite
butt bumping is the most defensive technique


KronicKillaz
that looked like sum kinda kama sutra shit, the gunman would probably just run away if you said he was sexy and did that lol


Alright, I am being a bit insensitive here but you have to admit that is damn hilarious. 

Joking aside, that self defense move seems perfectly executable and perhaps it would be useful in situations where there is only one attacker. 

People, if there is more than one armed attacker, do not attempt to do the move above or any self defense mojo shit because it is highly probable that you will get your ass kicked unless of course you are IP Man, the Wing Chun grandmaster. Ahem.
Have to give credits to the instructor of the Krav Maga Marital Art for creating the free self defense video though. Kudos.

Just one question.

Krav Maga kicks Wing Chun's ass or Wing Chun kicks Krav Maga's ass?

Ahem.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Miscommunication

***Note***
Received the following picture from my friend a while ago. Thanks Alexander.



A classic case of miscommunication I would say.

Boss: Oi! Please also add Jaya One logo at the bottom with the URL.

Designer: OK! Put Jaya One Logo with URL at the bottom! No Problemo!

Logo Missing.. Ahem


Boss: WEI! Where's my logo?!?!?

Designer: Got what! Neh! Jaya One Logo!

Boss: -_-



Hilarious.


Or maybe "JAYA ONE Logo" IS the official logo.

Or perhaps they haven't created the logo yet so provided a place where they can stick the logo on when the logo is ready.

Ahem.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Instant Food

Oh well,

Not exactly instant but the type of food that can be prepared fast. You know, the situation where you are left to fend for yourself and you absolutely need to eat something right away.

Presenting....... Mi Goreng aka Instant Mee aka Instant Noodles!!!!!

Mi Goreng


So, for those who never eaten instant mee/noodles in their life before, now you can die happy knowing how an instant mee /noodle looks like. Ahem.


The ingredients are just the sort of preserved noodle and the packets of spices. For best satisfying result, it is recommended to eat at least two packets of em dry oily stuff.

Two Packets


Proceed to prepare the tools needed. A pan/wok to boil the noodles first. Then proceed to stir fry the noodles with the spices included. Or you can just dump the boiled noodles into a plate and proceed to mix the noodle and spices together and you can eat already.

But why would you do that? Where is the fun? The art? Again, like I mentioned earlier. Stir fry with the spices together.

Tool

Stir-Fry


After that, it is ready to serve. You can always serve it with other ingredients such as a sunny side egg and hotdogs or minced meat depends on your preferences.


I like mine with chicken cheese cocktail/minidogs and a sunny side egg.

Instant Food


There you have it. Instant food. Takes around less than 5 minutes I think to prepare. Very fast hor and simple also. When you invest in the toilet is even longer than that lah. Ahem.





p/s: I fail at making good/perfect sunny side egg. You know, the one that have the yellow yolk in the middle and surrounded by egg white.That requires culinary/cooking skills of the highest level mmmmmkay and I am just an ordinary guy trying to satisfy his hungry stomach as soon as possible. Ahem
p/s: There goes my diet aka keeping fit plan. Darn.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

LeBron James Crab Dribble

The much hyped Lebron James's Crab Dribble.


"I'll have to check in my book to see what a 'crab dribble' is. I'm not quite sure," Washington interim coach Ed Tapscott said with a smile Monday. "I do know that we don't seem to get away with very many of them, whatever they are.

James said: "I watched it again, and I took a 'crab dribble,' which is a hesitation dribble, and then two steps."

"'Crab dribble' is when you, uh, travel," Butler said. "That's the hottest thing on the market right now."


In case you don't know how a Crab Dribble looks like, be in the dark no more as yours truly have a picture that illustrate the Crab Dribble perfectly.


LeBron's Crab Dribble


Oh yeah, that is definitely the in and hottest dribble method now. Crab dribble is the new black yo. Sort of.

Monday, January 5, 2009

Rules To Follow

A little bird told me that they are told that there are ONLY 2 rules to follow and that the 2 rules will apply in any situations.
(Wah seh, got little bird somemore. A bit like Jeff Ooi pulak. Ahem)


The two rules are:

Rule Number 1
The Government is always right


Rule Number 2
If the Government is wrong,
refer to rule number 1



What happened to Of the People, By the People, For the People?

Die lor like that.

Ahem.

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Farahrizan Abdul Razak involved in sex orgy

The anonymous newscaster who was nabbed along with 27 others apparently have been identified as one Farahrizan Adbul Razak. It seems that they are having a sex party inside a hotel room on New Year Eve.

Talk about ushering into the New Year with a big bang or rather in this case is bangs. Ahem.

 Miss Farahrizan Adbul Razak


The 22 years old newscaster with Astro Awani apparently plays Friendster as the invites to the New Year Eve sex party are sent through the social networking site, Friendster. This does take the meaning of social networking to a whole new level. Akin to a certain someone "personal friend" perspective.

Directly quoted from the source:

Police have confirmed that the newscaster who was nabbed along with 27 other people in a raid on a hotel room on New Year’s Eve is Farahrizan Abdul Razak.

Sources told Malay Mail that the 22-year-old newsreader with Astro Awani had tested positive for drugs. She has been remanded for two days, along with eight others who had also tested positive. Also picked up during the raid were the organisers of the party.

Officers led by Assistant Superintendent Mahani Ahmad found condoms, drugs and alcohol in the room, which was packed with revellers who had received special invites to the party through social networking site Friendster.

Authorities are concerned that the organisers of these romps are using the Internet to get the word out. (see accompanying story).

City police had raided the room on the 11th floor of the Cabana Inn in Jalan P. Ramlee after being tipped off that a sex and drugs party was being held there. The suspects, aged between 18 and 31, were picked up at 3am by D7, the anti-vice and gaming unit.

When police moved in, two halfnaked couples were in bed, while the others were intoxicated. Half-eaten pizzas and empty beer cans littered the floor.

Authorities seized 24 Ecstasy pills, packets and straws containing Ketamine, one Eramine 5 tablet, other drug paraphernalia and some condoms. Efforts to contact Farahrizan for comment were unsuccessful.

There you have it. Now, who says Malaysians are not open minded enough? Ahem. Or maybe it is just in KL.

Ahem.

Now you will have to excuse me. I need to find a job in KL and prepare for the coming New Year Eve ushering into New Year 2010 by having an orgy do something urgent.

Ahem.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009

MAY the new year
brings you lots of wealth and success in whatever that you do.

Everything Suen Suen Li Li

In good health.

Cheers.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009
The Year of the OX
Yes, that is an OX wishing all of ya happy new year


P/s: Don't laugh. That is an artistic drawing mmmmmkay. Abstract art, so to speak.

P/s/s: Been extremely busy for the past few days which is evident from the lack of updates. FYI, I am helping out a friend's wedding preparation being the best man and all.

P/s/s/s: The wedding is a success. Everything goes on smoothly.

P/s/s/s/s: Went to the Boulevard for the countdown last night to watch the fireworks. Did not take any pictures though. Doesn't matter because my ox drawing as seen above is way way way more interesting and of course beautiful.

P/s/s/s/s/s: After the countdown, went to Travilion. Damn. Recession? What Recession? Where? If you are there at Travilion then you will get what I mean. It is like people mountain people sea. Seriously. Recession?



Updates: In case you are still wondering. Yes, that is the best drawing I am able to come up with my artistically challenged sense. I did not put a watermark on it simply because it is impossible anyone would want to steal my OX drawing and claim it as their own.

Even if they copy the drawing for whatever reason that is beyond me, I am pretty sure they will point out that the artist is Yours Truly because of the extremely "artistic" nature of the drawing.
Ahem.